WEDDINGS AND HOW MUCH PEOPLE SPEND ON THEM

The gratification of wealth is not found in mere possession or in lavish expenditure, but in its wise application.

(Miguel de Cervantes)

Marriage is a big business in which some lose and some gain. The ever escalating competition as to who spends how much on his/her wedding, despite being a huge strain on the pockets of parents, is becoming a never ending tradition.

Almost all the females and some males develop some kind of fantacy about how their wedding would be like, the dresses they will wear, the food that will be served, the venue they will choose for the ceremony, the number and kind of people they will invite, and so on. This is something that costs huge sums of money and they kids demand that their parents or whoever is sponsoring the entire thing, spare no expense, without even slightly considering the burdons they are placing on the sponsor. 

Initially it were the social pressures, the fear of people talking down upon the family, the demands from the in laws of the daughter who is to be wedded, the need to uphold family honor and to maintain a good social standing. Parents tried to save money for the marriages of their daughters and tried to spend as much as they could to make the ceremonies as lavish as their incomes would afford. The daughter mostly supported the parents and tried to cut down her expenses as much as she possibly could to facilitate them.

Now, however, things seem to be a bit changed. In addition to the society putting pressure on the family members, the girl, does not sit quiet and has a list of demands of her own. Her dress for Barat, e.g. must be Designer wear and should at no cost be below 1Lac Rupee (this amount too is quite low considering the present scenario), the venue should be the best wedding hall available in the city or even in some cases beyond the walls of the city, no matter what the cost be. She also demands a huge stream of functions from a week long of Dholki's (with separate dresses for each day) to Mayoon, Mehndi, Nikah, Baraat, Waleema, Maklawa and has a long list of guests that must be in attendance during all these events. 

The Dowry is a separate story altogether. A huge sum of money has to be saved for this purpose as well. Besides the inappropriate demands of the in laws, the girl in question herself prepares a humongous list of items that she 'MIGHT' need after her marriage.

The funny thing is that most of the dowry items on this list stay locked in a storage cupboard and keep getting old and useless. The same goes for the wedding dresses of the bride which can almost never be worn again for the fear of looking ridiculous in such heavy dresses. These dresses get worn out and colors fade. With the person the clothes age too and no one even remembers neither cares about what the bride wore on her wedding. 

Islam, the ultimate religion, teaches us simplicity. It wants us to be moderate in our spendings, in our outlook towards life and the way in which we carry out our daily activities. Only Nikah and Walima are the two ceremonies that need to be carried out according to the teachings of the religion and that too in the simplest manner possible. 

A marriage no doubt is a big day in the life of any person and it should be celebrated with joy but by cutting off a few unnecessary festivities and spending a bit less saves not just the family member from huge financial burdens but the same amount can be invested in something positive. 

• The couple can save it for their future
• Some of it can be used to help the poor and the needy
• The couple can use the same amount to go on a trip and visit someplace
• The amount can be saved for the education of their children
• It can be used to buy a house or to make some other beneficial investment
• The parents can just keep their hard earned money with themselves and spend it at their own pace to fulfill their own dreams and desires.

David Henry Thoreau rightly pointed out,

That man is richest whose pleasures are the Cheapest

The next generation, which is better educated, instead of burdening their parents and pressuring everyone else in the society to carry out with the same nuisance by setting ridiculous trends, should try to eliminate this menace from the society. Our youth should try and set an example for others by celebrating their marriages by spending less. They should themselves engage in Philanthropy and teach others to help those in need instead of wasting money on ludicrous pursuits. Truly, real happiness lies in the purity of their relation and the compromises the newly weds are willing to make for a better future for themselves and for the generations to come.